Phoebe Kate

And they’re a long, long ways from home but I’m still here.  

My son JK left for his Vietnam/Hong Kong trip on Saturday.  Today my daughter JJ headed off for Columbus OH where she is going to live for the summer.  During college breaks, they usually are at home and working their local jobs, so this has thrown me for a loop.  I’m used to a house full of kids, even if the “kids” are grown.  My Mother’s Day was bittersweet, flanked by departures — temporary, of course, but nonetheless quietly wrenching.

I’m really glad my oldest kid Davio is here for awhile.  He’s 27 and anything but a kid but he has become more of a best friend than an offspring, a truly sweet plateau to reach in the path of parenthood.  And that’s the really big payoff in procreating — at some point, if you play your cards right and tear up your official Motherhood Club I.D. card, your sweet babboo becomes your favorite pal and the relationship metamorphosizes into something new and delightfully unexpected.              

Do you ever stop being a mom?  No, not entirely.  You worry about your grown kids.  You can’t help it and your adult children understand this.  You try to help in practical ways. You try not to give unsolicited advice.  You try to let them live their lives.  Easy?  Are you kidding?   But if you wind up with a bosom buddy instead of a great big overgrown baby, it’s a tremendous pay-back for all those dirty diapers, temper tantrums, childhood diseases, school days and teenage drama you endured, and it’s well worth waiting for. 

–phoebe kate